Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Hard Day

What follows are some thoughts I jotted down in a journal while I was in Waco today:

I am beside my grandmother's bed in hospice care. She looks so small and frail. She didn't seem to respond when I arrived and leaned in to tell her I was here. My mom, her sister, and her brother have gone to my parents' house to make "the arrangements." My grandmother moved her mouth some and shrugged her shoulders a bit after my mom told her she was leaving and that I would be here. I wonder what she was thinking. Was she trying to speak? I'll never know.

Two of my aunt's friends came by. One brought a snack for my aunt but since she's not here I'll make it my own.

The nurse and an aid came in to turn my grandmother. She seemed restless after they left so I opened my Bible to the psalms and started reading to her. She settled down and seems to be resting comfortably again.

That's all I wrote while I was there. I read to her one other time before my mom and aunt returned. Again, she was restless but settled into a more peaceful sleep as I read to her from the Word she treasured. I mostly sat in a chair close beside her bed and thought about all she means to me. I thought about the days when she was young and strong...even though when she was still young I already thought she was old. Now I know better.

I remember being at my grandparents' house when I was young and all the family was there. My granddad would call us into their room and we pile up on the bed and sit all around on the floor and he would read to us from the Bible. My grandmother lost him over 20 years ago -- more than 20 years without him...they were crazy about one another.

My grandmother read her Bible everyday. I'm not sure if she did over the last months as her health declined, but a long time ago she told me she started her day by reading The Word. What a legacy she leaves. She is a beautiful example to me of faithfulness, of courage, of selfless giving, and love.

Today was hard. She'll be in the presence of her Savior in a matter of days. Her legacy, however, and the things she taught me by word and example will remain.

Serving the King,



Julee said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother! What a blessing to have so many beautiful memories of her. Please know that I am praying for you through this time!


Anonymous said...

I will definitely be praying for you and your family. We just went through the same thing in January this year with my Granny, mom's mother. She was my last living grandparent. I have always cherished the close relationships I had will all 4 of my grandparents, but you don't fully do so until they are gone, unfortunately. It doesn't matter how old they are, and that we know they are going to a much better place to be free of pain and sorrow and confusion; we are never really fully ready to lose them.

Kathy W

Sue said...

Oh Jeanette, what a beautiful, yet sad moment for you. It brings to mind sitting by my Mom's bedside almost 6 years ago as she prepared to go Home to Glory.

May you treasure these sacred moments for that's what they are I believe. And may God grant you peace and comfort as you prepare to say farewell, knowing that it is only a temporary separation.

My heart aches for the days ahead for you but I KNOW God is faithful and will bring blessings along with the sorrow. Be encouraged in that!

Big hugs to you & your family! I'll be praying for you all!