Monday, November 10, 2014


What a weekend. My middle child, my girl, will be graduating from college in one month and 9 days. Ten days after that we will be in Alabama moving her into an apartment. She accepted an offer to do her dream job and will move 3 states away from us. Even though we have known for more than a month that this is what will happen, I can still barely type those sentences without tears welling up in my eyes. Moving requires having a place to live so she and I flew out this weekend to find that place. That the weekend was a bit stressful is an understatement. Yes, Johnny and I have been praying about this very specifically. God provided the job, He will provide the living situation. My head has got that. My heart is that this amazing young woman that I happened to give birth to would have a lovely, safe, affordable place to live that also happens to be in a good location.

Friday was a bust. We saw a few places. She had found a few places online before we went. At more than one of those places I pulled into the parking lot and right back out saying not only no but never. My first priority is safety. One complex that looked perfect that we just happened to drive by, I stopped, she looked up the rent online and said absolutely not. Her first priority is budget. We did find a place on Saturday that we both feel good about. And, we got to eat some really good Alabama barbecue and found a wonderful coffee shop not too far from where she'll live.

We flew back on Sunday and arrived at DFW in the early afternoon. By the time we got home and had lunch I had just a little while before I headed to a 4:00 monthly gathering time with folks involved in our church's Embrace project. These people mean so much to me. Honestly, I'm pretty astounded by how they have all bought in. I am floored by how God used these people and their trips to the UK to seal a commitment to what our church agreed to do with the IMB. Mostly, I'm grateful.

We usually meet for about 2 hours - a time to talk and a time to pray together. I'm an emotional person anyway but, by the time we were done, I was spent. From the weekend. From how overwhelming the Embrace task is. From the desire for the gospel to be known among our people group. When it was over I just wanted to go home and curl up on the couch. Under a blanket. With comfort food. I peeked into the sanctuary where the evening time of corporate worship was starting. My beautiful and talented daughter-in-law was playing the piano and that drew me in. I'm so glad I stayed.

Last night our church celebrated the Lord's Supper. We took communion together. I found one of my friends and sat down beside her and somehow there was a comfort in that. Johnny's main text was 1 Corinthians 11:27, " Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord." He talked about the word unworthy. Part of the what he said about it was how the original readers, and modern believers, can take communion without really examining their lives. "Trading symbolism for substance." We can, at times, say things like, "thank You for Your many blessings" instead of counting them one by one. Or, "forgive me of my sins" instead of naming them, confessing them, turning away from them.

I often feel unworthy. Unworthy to be involved in the mission of God, unworthy to parent such great kids, unworthy of the material things that I have. I want to, as Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:1, "walk in a manner worthy with which (I) have been called." My worthiness comes from Christ alone. My ability to walk worthy depends on leaning on Him and not streamlining or wholesaling my thanks or my confessions. Receiving communion last night, in a room full of people but alone in my thoughts of God, reminded me new and fresh that everything begins with Him. And not me. My natural bent to feel unworthy was paid for on the cross.

While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat, this is My body." And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins." 
Matthew 26:26-28

Serving the King,