Saturday, January 31, 2009

Not Quite Sure How I Feel About It Yet

This is an epic day. No, I do not think I am exaggerating one bit, though I am known to use hyperbole. (Besides that, epic can be defined as "extending beyond the usual or ordinary" according to m-w.com) I got the news while I was shopping at Target. My stomach felt sick the minute the words were out of my husband's mouth but as I contemplated it I couldn't really pinpoint why I felt the way I did. Are you ready for this? I don't know if I can actually type the words but, here goes...the college boy got his ears pierced. Yes, both of them. I haven't seen them yet. That will be tomorrow. Little sister, apparently, knew about LAST WEEK and even gave her approval. She failed to mention it to her parents, however. Not sure how I feel about that one either. One thing you gotta know, though. Little sis idolizes the college boy. She even said so on her "25 random things" list on facebook. She called him her hero. Nothing could make her betray him...and telling us in advance would have been a betrayal, in her mind. Little brother is at a friend's house and we called to tell him so he wouldn't make a big deal about it at church tomorrow. He just said that it was stupid.

So, here's my dilemma. I am seeking advice and counsel. I feel old just admitting that I have a problem with my son having pierced ears. As the day has worn on, though, I feel not so upset. After all, there are so many things that are worse....right? I mean, he's a good kid. He doesn't always make the best choices (who does?) but he's a moral and godly kid. We have a good relationship with him. I could go on about his good qualities and the positive things about his life but the point is, why do I care? He's old enough to make his own decisions and he's gotta find out some things for himself. We can't control him but we can support him. He asked his dad if it would affect our relationship with him. Not on your life...not one little bit.

About two years ago we were going through a particularly hard patch. I sought the advice of a friend of mine at church who has 3 kids that are grown and out of the house and 2 teenagers left at home. She said that the one thing she always tried to do was protect the relationship. No matter what the kids did, the choices they made, they places they went...protect the relationship.

Ok, what do you think? Anyone up for this topic?

Serving the King,

Jeanette

4 comments:

Michelle Canton said...

What do I think? This is an easy one for me. Holes in his ears are pretty minor and simply does not affect his relationship with the Father. Would I choose it for him? No, but, you're right, he's an adult, he can choose to do that. Character, that's the main thing, who he is becoming.

Anonymous said...

Holes in the ears will close up, hair dye will wash out and hair will grow again. It's like buying a new shirt. It's only temporary. Check out this blog I like to read, www.reverb.com he is talking about tattoos. Don't worry about. It's not a sin to have your ears pierced is it?

Kathy W said...

I think you are right. It's not permanent, immoral, or illegal, so just go with the flow. We have had similar issues with our 2 college age boys about hair, politics (biggie!), etc. and I have "let go" of those issues. Just like when they were toddlers or early teenagers, you have to "pick your battles". We have drawn the line at tattoos; they get one before they graduate from college and are off our dole, we cut them off financially, but never emotionally or relationally!
Get used to it; they will never choose to do life exactly like you did or like you would choose for them!

Alyssia said...

I agree with the others. Holes in the ears are no big deal. He'll outgrow it, more than likely. Don't stess too much if he's a good kid.